Bertemu Bocil di Rumah Sakit, Hati Menjadi Lebih Sensitif

Trigger

Siang semakin terik, tetapi hati tetasa tak keruan. Entah rindu rumah, ingat pada bocil, memikirkan nasib suami atau justru tiba-tiba stres dengan perkataan mertua. Ah, entahlah. Tiba-tiba hari ini ingin menggalau saja.

Saya mengirim pesan ke adik, menanyakan perihal keseharian bocil. Untungnya ia dalam keadaan terkondisikan dan terkontrol.

Saya pun tiba-tiba nyeletuk untuk mengajak bocil ke rumah sakit kalau adik menjenguk. Bisakah? Peraturan di rumah sakit memungkinkan dirinya untuk datang. Lama. Tak ada jawaban. Ah, mungkin ia belum bisa melakukannya.

Azan Dhuhur terlewat, samar, tiba-tiba terdengar suara bocil dari luar ruangan. Ah, mungkin halusinasi. Namun, saat saya mau melanjutkan istirahat di sebelah suami, pintu terbuka lebar. Ada bocil, adik dan juga bapak mertua. Di mana ibu mertua? Sedari kemarin ia sudah berada di rumah sakit bersama saya.

Ya, Allah. Seperti inikah rindu itu?
“Ibu kenapa di sini? Kapan ibu pulang?”
Masih banyak pertanyaan yang sejatinya entah bagaimana menjawabnya. Saya pun tersenyum.

Bocil terlihat senang dan penasaran dengan apa yang ada di ruangan. Tak butuh waktu lama untuk menarik minatnya pada ruang perawatan ini. Ranjang pasien dimainkan, infus dipegang, kateter pun tak luput dari pengamatannya.

“Bu, lapar,” ujar bocil saat mendekati saya yang sibuk mengamati polah dan tingkahnya.

Adik yang semula duduk di sofa mendekat, “Kamu sudah makan lo tadi, barusan sebelum berangkat pula.”

Seakan tak menghiraukan, bocil tetap minta disuapi. Ia pun memelul manja. Saya pun senang dan menyanggupinya.

Entah kesambet apa, saat menyuapi bocil saya merasa bad mood dengan perkataan mertua. Padahal sebelumnya, kami tak ada masalah saat menjaga suami. Entahlah, mendengar ia banyak bicara dan banyak ingin tahu membuat saya tiba-tiba kesal.

“Ibu kenapa? Kok kelihatan marah?”

Pertanyaan bocil menarik ingatan saya pada realita. Selepasnya, saya pun segera berpamitan keluar dengan alasan mau salat.

Memberikan Penjelasan secara KISS (Keep It Short and Simple)

Saat bocil kali pertama menunjukkan ketertarikannya pada ruangan, saya menjelaskan layaknya guide tour. Yah, sesuai dengan bahasanya, sebisa mungkin saya menjelaskan secara ringkas dan simpel.

“Itu ranjang bisa naik turun, agar Bapak tidak mudah capek. Kan Bapak belum bisa jalan,” ujar saya saat bocil memainkan remot dan menekan tombol di samping ranjang.

“Itu untuk selang pipis, Nak. Bapak sakit di bagian salurannya jadi dibantu dengan alat itu.”

“Mengerikan ya, Bu. Warna nya merah.” Bocil bergidik dan menjauh dari ranjang suami.

Ah, bersama bocil kadangkala menciptakan percakapan yang kadang tak masuk akal, tetapi nyatanya sangat menyenangkan.

Instropeksi Diri dan Meminta Bantuan

Dalam hal ini, saya sendiri tahu apa yang menyebabkan semuanya berubah. Namun, sebisa mungkin saya usahakan untuk segera mengatasi.

Meminta bantuan Allah untuk melapangkan dada adalah jalan utama. Walau terasa sulit, ucapan Astaghfirulloh tak terlepas dari mulut. Ya, Allah kenapa hati ini jadi sangat lemah?

Saat saya kembali ke ruang perawatan, suami seakan menyadari atas apa yang terjadi. Sempat ia mencoba membuka pertanyaan, tapi tak ada yang mampu menembus rasa kesal dan sesak di dada.

Kesempatan kedua datang saat suami minta tolong di antar ke kamar mandi. Ia belum bisa BAB sendiri. Sembari membenarkan letak urine bag dan infus, kami berbincang. Hanya ada kami berdua. Tak ada mertua, adik ataupun bocil.

“Kenapa? Apa salahku?”

Di saat seperti itu alasan dan rasa dongkol akhirnya dapat tersalurkan. Suami mendengar dan tak memotong. Ia pun dengan sukarela menjadi sasaran kekesalan yang sejatinya bukan untuk dirinya.

“Sudah lega?”
Saya pun hanya tersenyum malu.

Sore itu, semuanya ditutup dengan adegan bocil yang mengganggu kebersamaan kami. Ia mengetuk pintu terus terusan karena kebelet pipis.

“Bapak ibu ngapain di kamar mandi? Ibu tersenyum? Sudah ndak marah?”

Kami pun tertawa bersama di kamar mandi.

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